This is probably the hardest part. After months and months of frenzied rushing about, tastings, tweakings, highs and lows, we have finally sent off all the samples and now have to wait to see what the buyers think of the wine. To be completely frank, I feel sick to the core with worry. And right now there’s nothing I can do but wait and hope. And worry.
Should we have made the wine slightly deeper in colour? What if the style is wrong or the buyer was just amusing me when he said “send in a sample”. What if, what if.
I’m currently writing an article called ‘Chasing the dream’ because that’s what someone described what I’m doing. I’ve certainly dreamt about getting involved in winemaking for a very long time, but right now (in the midst of my current nauseous insecurity) I feel like it could all go horribly wrong. And if we don’t get any orders for our wine then…well, I don’t know what. It would be easy to say that it feels more like a nightmare right now, but that would be exaggerating. Perhaps it’s more this awful feeling of not being able to influence the outcome, but in which case I just need to prepare for all possible outcomes.
What would Nick Vujicic say to me right now if he was here?
So…more resolve Stephen. Fear is just a mindset and I need to work out a way of snapping out of this mood of self-doubt. I need to pick up a book or watch a motivating video. I just need to snap out of it. Good old British stiff upper lip and resolve, that’s what I need.
Perhaps a simple coffee and a pain au chocolate.